I Will Always Love You
by Zarabeth McGregor
Summary: Wufei's life is turned upside down on night at a karaoke bar. *The Sequel is posted up as Chapter 4*
1.

I Will Always Love You

By: Zarabeth McGregor

Chapter 1: I will Always Love You

I don't own Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon. Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise agencies and Sailor Moon belongs to…whom ever. The song 'I will always love you' is copyright to Whitney Houston. The only thing I own basically is the plot. 

                  I decided to take a shot at this, since my muse was bugging hell out of me last night. This is a three part songfic series that I hope you will find sad and tragic, cause that's my goal. Hopefully, I'll get a few tears out of you. Rating is for language and content. 

~*~

                  She looked stunning in that dress. It must've been new, because he'd never seen it before. It was made of some soft red fabric that swayed slightly above her knees. It was a modestly haltered dress with an empress seam and moderate cleavage showed. Her pale skin glowed against the scarlet fabric, and her long dark hair was loose and flowing. 

                  She also seemed slightly fidgety tonight. She jumped at the smallest noises. Distant too. Questions had to be repeated before she answered them. She stared off into space, seeing something that no one else could. She wasn't her usual bright and chatty self. But then again, she was famous for her moods.

                  On this warm, cloudless night in Tokyo, Wufei put an arm around Rei's waist as they walked to the Sakura Karaoke Bar. Wufei usually hated karaoke, mainly because the people going up couldn't sing worth jack. But Serena had been insistent. 

"Oh come on!" she had said earlier, "We aren't doing anything at home. And I'm sick and tired of seeing _you_ sitting around watching the TV!" Serena pointed at Heero, who fixed her with his patented glare. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, get off it!" 

So, here they were, entering this godforsaken place. Serena was trying to convince the Perfect Soldier that this wasn't a bad idea, while he just glared at her out of the corner of his eye. Duo and Mina were cracking up at this, Lita was unsuccessfully trying to start a conversation with Trowa and Quatre and Ami were discussing the recent Wall Street stock drops. 

"What's on your mind?" Wufei whispered to Rei, who jumped a mile. She blinked.

"Nani?" she asked absently. Wufei frowned.

"You've been like this for the whole night. Are you well?" Rei looked up and gave a small smile.

"I love you," she whispered and squeezed his hand. He raised a brow. That wasn't the answer he was expecting, but it made him happy all the same. He dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I love you so much…"

"Me too," Wufei was elated. He had plans for her tonight. After being with her for close to two years now, he was sure that this was the right thing. He smiled as he thought of the black box in his jacket pocket and hugged her tighter. 

~*~

                  It had been an hour since they arrived and the singing was well underway. Some poor fool was on the stage trying to sing 'Rainy Dayz', a song for _two_ people, mind you. Everyone at their table was doubling up with silent laughter; even Heero and Trowa were shaking their heads, semblances of a smile on their faces. 

                  _Except Rei…_she was staring off again. Her breathing was heavy. Like she was prepping for something. 

"Are you going on stage?" Wufei asked. Rei turned to him and he frowned. Her eyes were large and shiny. She gave a sad smile as the patrons started applauding the girl off the stage. Before he could ask he what was wrong, she was maneuvering her way to the stage. She whispered to the MC whom smiled at her. 

"Alright, everyone!" The MC shouted over the crowd's chattering. Silence descended almost immediately. "We have another talented singer for you," a few patrons giggled. "We have a Ms Rei Hino going up now, singing for you a favorite of mine, 'I will always love you'." Rei was already holding the mike. She had a look of determination on her face and Wufei saw she was trembling slightly. 

"What's wrong with Rei?" Mina asked quietly. Wufei shrugged.

"I don't know. She's been like this for the whole night."

"Well, she can't be nervous about singing in front of people. She's done it loads of times." They ended their conversation when they saw Rei was about to start. She took a deep breath. 

*If I should stay  
I would only be in your way*

****

She started in a light, wispy voice, though it shook slightly. The bar was completely silent. 

*So I'll go, but I know   
I'll think of you every step of the way*

****

Her voice was stronger now, hanging on the last few words of the song, as Whitney Houston did. There were a few claps and cheers, but Rei seemed oblivious to them. Instead, she seemed focused on one thing, one person. Wufei.

*I will always love you  
I will always love you*

Rei's eyes were focused on him, seeming to pierce through his soul. Wufei's eyes were riveted to her as well. Her eyes were darker than usual and heavy with emotion. For the first time, it occurred to Wufei there was something wrong. Very wrong.

*Bitter sweet memories  
That is all I'm taking with me*

She sang with a passion and zeal that held the crowd in a trance. Not even her fellow Scouts have ever heard Rei sing with such feeling. She was like a siren, trapping everyone with her voice, including herself. It seemed as if she didn't have anything else on her mind, except the song. It seemed to come from the very bottom of her soul. 

*So goodbye, please don't cry  
We both know I'm not what you need*

Her voice trembled heavily with these lines. Tears streamed down her face steadily now, and she fought back a sob. 

*I will always love you  
I will always love you*

Wufei was unable to move, unable to think. The only thing he heard was her hypnotizing voice. He was unaware of the deafening silence. Not once did she look on the lyrics' screen. This seemed to come from her heart. And all the while her eyes were on him. 

*I hope life treats you kind  
And I hope you have all you dreamed of*

And his eyes were on her. Something was trying to work its way into his now closed off mind. Something important. But he ignored it. Because he knew. He knew.

*And I wish you joy and happiness  
But above all this I wish you love*

The tears were still streaming down her face, and they were further emphasized by the lights on the stage. But her voice was stronger, laced with a sense of purpose. Wufei was stupefied. 'No…no…this can't be happening. Why?' 

*I will always love you  
I will always love you*

She ended the song with a whisper. 

"I'm sorry," she said softly, her eyes on Wufei. Then, she climbed down the steps leading to the stage and out of the karaoke bar amidst the cheers and applause. 


	2. I Will Always Love You

I Will Always Love You

By: Zarabeth McGregor

Chapter 2: Tonight and the Rest of My Life

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing. The song 'Tonight and the Rest of My Life' is copyrighted to Nina Gordon. 

~*~

*Down to the earth I fell

With dripping wings  
Heavy things won't fly*

'I did it…' Rei thought as she ran down the pavement. She absently stepped in puddles of water as she did. A heavy downpour fell while they were in the karaoke place. 

'Why did I do it?' she asked silently. She knew she hurt Wufei. Badly. 

                  The karaoke bar thing was her idea. Well, technically. Technically because she didn't feel like herself when she did it. It was like she was on the outside of her body looking on as some imposter took over. But she knew she had to do it. Because if she didn't do it now, the hurt she would have caused him later on would be even greater than what he was presently feeling. 

*And the sky might catch on fire  
And burn the axis of the world*

"Hey! Watch it!" a teenaged boy yelled as Rei blindly barreled into him. But she didn't stop. She didn't even hear him. She kept running. Was she in her body now? Sure felt like it, because it hurt like hell when she suddenly fell and twisted her ankle. 

"Are you okay, Miss?"

"Let me help you…"

"Are you hurt?" Several hands reached down to her, and voices blended into one. She looked up and saw several youma arms reaching down at her, ready to grab her. Rei looked up into their ugly, terrifying faces, saw the murderous intent in their eyes. She smelt death and decay, and she felt one grab at her.

"Get away!!" she screamed, wriggling out of its grasp. Another reached down. She gave it a stinging slap and she heard it curse. "Leave me alone!!" she started slapping, punching and kicking every which way. She didn't notice that her beautiful red dress was getting ripped and stained. She wouldn't have cared either. Oh how she wished she had her transformation pen. Finally they moved. With one withering glare, she started up running again. Well, the best she could do while limping. 

*That's why I prefer a sunless sky  
To the glittering and stinging in my eyes*

She staggered to the apartment door and turned the knob. It wouldn't budge. She pulled on it again. And again. Still won't budge. 

"Goddamnit!" she shouted. She kicked the door, hard and it gave a re-sounding 'twang' as her red platforms came into contact with it. She kicked it again and again and again for all it was worth. Then the pain set in, dully. Rei gave a gasping sob, as she remembered the keys in her purse and hastily put them in. She had to get in there, right now. Sanctuary.

*And I feel so light  
This is all I want to feel tonight  
And I feel so light  
Tonight and the rest of my life*

She stumbled in and threw down her purse. Almost blindly, she walked into her room and pulled open the bedside table's drawer. Her hands groped through all the ruble and confusion until she found them. The little white bottle fit in the palm of her hand. They rattled inside, and it was music to Rei's ears. She stumbled into the bathroom and turned on the light. Reaching for the plastic cup, she filled it with tap water. Rei looked up. Repulsion hit immediately. 

"Good God…" she muttered softly, weakly. "Is this me?" The mirror never lied. Her face was grey and drawn. Her eyes were dull and lifeless. Thin lines were etched into her youthful face and rivers of mascara were dried to her cheeks. She looked down at her bottle and felt a surge of relief. If she took these, by this time tomorrow, she would be on cloud nine. So, Rei gingerly untwisted the cap and shook five tiny pills out. The doctor had said one a day, but she soon found that three or four would make her feel even better. But lately she had upped the dosage. She put them in her mouth and followed them up with the water. She looked in the mirror again, disgusted and determined. 

'_More…more…more,'_ a voice whispered. She leaned over the sink, panting. 

"No…" she muttered, "I don't want to."

'_More…more…'_

"It's not right."

_'Moooooooorrrrrrrre…'_

"Shut up!" she screamed, covering her ears. She panted, looking in the mirror. She hated what she saw. Rei picked up the bottle and threw out a one or two more. But her hand won't stop. It shook out more and more until the bottle was empty. She felt her hand rise, but it didn't feel like hers. Once again, she was on the outside looking in. Looking at herself in front of the mirror, in a torn red dress, swallowing many tiny white anti-depressants.

                  With the intensity of an uppercut to the face, Rei felt herself violently 'put back' into her body. She felt heady, light, almost giddy. With a slight smile of satisfaction, she half sauntered, half stumbled back into her room. She lay on the bed. With a good night's sleep, she would be back to normal. God she hoped this would be over. 

*Gleaming in the dark sea  
I'm as light as air floating there breathlessly*

She opened her eyes and found herself on her bed. But other than that, nothing was as how she remembered it. She was dressed in a white flowing dress. She looked around and realized she was in a garden. Flowers were all over the place, with trees and vines and miniature fountains. It was easily the most beautiful place she had ever been. 

"Reiko…" she heard a wispy, though distinct voice. A very familiar voice.

"Grandpa?" Rei looked around and sure enough, there he was. Short and stooped over, he was just as Rei remembered him. He wore a big bright smile on his face. "Grandpa!" she shouted happily and started to jump off the bed. How she missed him so, his powerful hugs and his dry humor. 

"Stop," he commanded, holding up a hand. Rei frowned. 

"What?" she asked softly.

"Not yet, not yet…" he said over and over again…

*When the dream dissolves  
I open up my eyes*

Rei woke with a start. She looked around frantically, and realized she was in her room. The garden and her grandfather were nowhere in sight. It seemed so real.

*I realize that  
Everything is shoreless sea  
A weightlessness is passing over me*

She felt light, so incredibly light. Rei felt she could soar and fly. She saw images flashing before her, as if they were on a projector screen. Her and her grandfather, her and the scouts laughing, she and Serena bantering, another of the both of them laughing and hugging. Her, Serena, Mina and Lita checking out the guys while Ami shook her head disdainfully at them. Her and Wufei. Several of the both of them. Talking, walking, bantering, hugging, kissing, doing more than kissing. She saw herself flying over a large expanse of nothingness. Nothing. She looked for the images and they were gone. Nothing. 

*And I feel so light  
This is all I want to feel tonight  
And I feel so light  
Tonight and the rest of my life  
Tonight and the rest of my life*

She was flying, high. And it was an immensely pleasant experience. She wanted to feel like this forever. 

*Everything is waves and stars  
The universe is resting in my arms*

Voices. She heard them. But they weren't a part of her 'out of this world' experience. They were right here, in her apartment. 

"Rei?" Serena. "Do you see anything?"

"No, not yet," Heero. Rei smiled. At least she got to see Serena.

"Rei…"her voice was close, very close. "Are you all right?" she heard footsteps coming to her bed. "Rei…" an abrupt pause. Then a startled gasp. "Heero, call the ambulance!" she now felt a stinging in her cheeks, repeatedly. "Rei…Rei! Rei, damn you, are you awake?" A stifled sob. "Are you alive?" Rei opened her eyes slowly, tilting her head sideways. In the dull light, she could make Serena out, her pale, frightened and now tear-stained face. 

"Rei," she said firmly. She held up the white bottle. Where the hell'd she get that from? "Did you take these?" Rei didn't answer, she just smiled. "For God's Sake, Rei, there isn't a single fucking pill left!" Serena's voice rose shrilly.

"And-I-feel-so-light," Rei sang haltingly. Serena sobbed. "This-is-all-I-wa-na-feel-to-night…"

"Rei…" Serena sobbed. "Please, don't do this to me. You're my best friend."

"And-I-feel-so-light…" she swallowed painfully, and fixed her smile back into place. "Tonight-and-t-the-r-re-rest-of-my-my-life…"

"Rei!!!" Serena screamed. She was vaguely aware of Serena shaking her, but she didn't care. She was going home. "Rei! Oh, god…don't do this to me!" she screamed. Rei looked over and saw a figure in the doorway. Heero. He looked so utterly helpless. She pitied him. Then, she closed her eyes…

*And I feel so light  
This is all I want to feel tonight  
And I feel so light  
Tonight and the rest of my life*

*Tonight and the rest of my life*


	3. Tonight and the Rest of My Life

I Will Always Love You

By: Zarabeth McGregor

Chapter 3: Wufei's Prayer

Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing; they belong to their respective owners. The portion of the song used, Dante's Prayer, is copyrighted to Loreena McKennitt. Oh, yeah and 'I Will Always Love You' is indeed copyrighted to Dolly Parton. Actually, it was said right there on the lyrics' page…

~*~

*_When the dark wood fell before me  
And all the paths were overgrown_*

It still didn't register, didn't hit home. It had been three weeks, but it still didn't feel real. 

But it hurt like hell.

*_When the priests of pride say there is no other way  
I tilled the sorrows of stone*_

The days and weeks had passed like a blur. Finding out the morning after, the final arrangements, the funeral, the cause of death.

"Death from an over dosage of the anti-depressant Prozac," the coroner had said. Prozac? What the hell was Rei doing on Prozac? He soon received his answer.

"Um…how do I say this…?" Serena had said later that day. She was avoiding his eyes, as she sat him down on her couch. She looked down on her hands. "The wars we were involved in, they had an…effect on Rei." Her hands were trembling slightly. Then she looked up, frantic. "We thought she was over it, she seemed so fine for the past few years. I never knew she was still on them, she never told me. God, if we had known…if I had noticed something…there were so many signs…she was so quiet lately, not herself…" she ended up sobbing into her small hands, muttering her name over and over again.

"Oh God, Rei…why?"

He was wondering the same thing himself. Looking at Serena, usually so joyful and full of confidence now crying and shaking like a leaf, his heart heaved. 

"Serena…" he had said softly, resting a hand on her back. She didn't acknowledge it, but her sobs quieted slightly. "Nothing happens without reason." Serena looked up, her brow furrowed.

"What?" she asked in disbelief. 

"If this was meant to be, there was nothing we could've done to stop it," he said, his voice calm and steady. His face was a mask of blankness; inside he was tortured. 

                  The conversation had ended abruptly, with Serena saying she was tired. Wufei saw through it, though. She'd expected him to break down and bawl, blubber on about how he missed her, how it wasn't fair. If Divinity said it was to be so, it was to be so. 

                  Yet when he was alone, there was no stopping the tears.

*_I did not believe because I could not see_* 

 Later that night, in the safety of his dark apartment, Wufei sat. His living room was immaculately clean. He may be torn up inside, but that didn't get in the way of his housekeeping. He twirled the martini shot in his hand, before downing it in one swallow. Wufei didn't usually drink; it messed with one's state of mind. But one could always make an exception. He never had anything to do at night. He always did everything in the day, when everyone else could see him, could see that he was just fine, unaffected by the death of his one true love. 

"Once bitten, twice shy…" he muttered the popular little phrase absently. Another martini down the hatch. "Twice bitten, never again will I try."

"She will always be with you…" the droning voice of the minister floated on by.  Ah, here they come. His best friends now a days; memories and heartache.

                  He was instantly transported back to that bright, sunny day. The sky was cloudless and the breeze blew gently. Sunlight streamed through the canopy of trees, touching the flowers below. Flowers brought everyday religiously to the rows and rows of grey headstones. 

                  There were some people there that day, though. All dressed in black. All their faces somber and wan. 

"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me…" the melodious singers of the choir Rei recently joined sang lustily, if not a bit unsteadily. They were standing around like stone. No one was crying. The shock still hadn't worn off. Or maybe they couldn't find any more tears. 

"Brothers and sisters," the minister said. "You are hurting, all of you. It does not matter how strong you all think you might be, how strong you think you might look, I can see it in each and every one of your faces." Wufei knew he saw the man throw a look in his direction. But it was brief. 

"But I have words of encouragement for you today, each and every one of you. I'm not going to tell you she is happy, that she is in a better place, because you wouldn't believe me anyway. I just want to say she will always be with you. That she will always be in your hearts."

"Hmph," Wufei snorted. Lita and Mina gave him odd, suspicious glances. But he ignored them. To hell with them. 

He still shared that sentiment.  

*_Though you came to me in the night_*

He felt it slightly, almost unnoticeable at first. But soon there was no denying it. Her smell, jasmine and lavender. Her movements, graceful and light. Her eyes on him, dark and observant. 

Her touch. Soft, silky, on his skin. Her hair, long and loose falling upon his bare shoulder. Her breath, sweet and warm against his ear. 

"Why," her voice, deep and sexy, "are you trying to forget me?"

*_When the dawn seemed forever lost*_

He jumped in shock, dropping his shot glass. It tinkled lightly on the floor. Her laughter. Wufei turned around quicker than he thought he could. No one was there. He sighed. It figures. It fucking figures. Just when he was getting his hopes up. He turned back.

She was sitting on the coffee table. A smile crossed her face.

"Well?"

*_You showed me your love in the light of the stars_*

"What the hell is going on here?" Wufei demanded. She giggled lightly and crossed one leg over the other. 

"You haven't answered my question," she stated, suddenly solemn. She was just as he remembered seeing her last. The beautiful, red halter dress and platform shoes. The simple gold chain he'd given her a few months before glittered in the faint moonlight. Her lipstick and mascara were immaculate.

"What?" she rolled her eyes.

"Why, Chang Wufei, are you trying your hardest to forget about me?" Wufei narrowed his eyes.

"What the hell kind of ghost are you?" he asked, though his words slightly slurred. "Aren't you supposed to be telling me to move on?"

Rei snorted.

"In case you haven't noticed, it's a process. You have to come to terms with my death before you can move on." 

"Oh, but darling," Wufei said with a sarcastic smile. "I have come to terms with your death. I've come to terms with the fact that you left me behind, that you had so much regard for the rest of us, the people who care about you, that you decided to pay us back by killing yourself, no explanation. Oh, I've come to terms with the fact that you didn't trust me enough to tell me what you were going through," he voice was rising steadily. He got up and paced the room. "And I've come to terms with the fact that you couldn't give a damn about me." 

"What?!" Rei shrieked, shock registered on her face.

"Oh, shove your innocent act!" Wufei raged at her, his expression livid. "Yes, you couldn't care less, could you…?"

"That's not true, Wufei and you know that," she said softly.

"Oh really?!" he shouted. "Then what the hell was that? Getting up in a crowded karaoke bar, and singing that song…damn it, Rei! Without a single explanation! Then to wake up and hear that you OD'ed on anti-depressants?!" he shook his head sadly. "On that night…of all the nights in the damn year, you choose that night!" Rei got up and approached him gently, yet with determination.

"That night?" she asked, puzzled. "What do you mean?" Wufei, whom had his back turned to her, leaning on his arms on the bar, turned to face her. 

"You want to know what I mean?" he asked, dangerously calm. Before she could answer, he stormed out, only to come back a moment later. He tossed a small box at Rei, who caught it perfectly. She opened it and gasped softly.

"That night…" Wufei said softly, as Rei looked up, her eyes wide and mouth slightly agape…tears streaming silently down her face. "I was going to ask you to spend the rest of your life with me."

"Oh, God Wufei…" she said quietly, walking toward him. He covered his face with a hand.

"What the hell were you thinking, Rei?" he asked, his voice trembling slightly. "You did know how much I loved you, right?" He looked at her shocked face. "Did you?" she nodded hastily.

"Yes." Wufei sighed and continued.

"Do you know how it feels to live without you? Every single day, not being able to talk to you, to see you, to hold you. Knowing that I'll never be able to do those things again?" Rei lowered her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to worry about me," she said simply, but sadly. 

"Rei," he said, with disbelief, "I was supposed to worry about you. I loved you, remember?" Wufei sighed again. "Okay, then why didn't you tell somebody else? Serena, anybody?"

"Because it would've gotten back to you!" Rei said in exasperation. "I know that they would've let you know, because they're kind like that!" 

"Well, we could've helped you!" he shouted back. "The whole 'suffering in silence' bit doesn't help anyone." Rei scoffed.

"Oh, that is so rich coming from you!" she cried back. "Well, if that's your belief, one would've thought you'd have told Heero and the others about Merian by now."

"That is none of their concern," Wufei replied, his voice trembling with suppressed anger. 

"Oh, so you don't think I would've thought the same thing?" she countered. Wufei looked at her, hurt in his eyes. 

"I don't know which was more painful," he said, his voice barely audible. "Merian died in my arms, I saw her take her last breath. Or hearing that you killed yourself the night I wanted to propose to you. I loved the both of you beyond compare." His first tears fell silently, and he seemed oblivious to them. "Why?" he asked, looking at her, searching for an answer. Rei's face contorted and she enveloped Wufei in a warm, tight embrace.

"I didn't want to, you know," she whispered. "I didn't want to do it." He felt her tears on his bare chest. Soon, he heard her sob.

"Shh," he said through his own tears and kissed the top of her head. He returned the hug. "Hush, baby, it's going to be okay." Funny how he was comforting her when she should be the one comforting him. "Shh…"

"I love you…" she whispered. He stroked her hair.

"Me too. Aishiteru, Rei," he muttered back. They stood like that for a while, in the light of the stars and moon. She soon pulled away.

"I have to go now… but I want you to remember something," Rei said. Standing on her tip-toes she whispered:

*_Cast your eyes on the ocean  
Cast your soul to the sea  
When the dark night seems endless  
Please remember me*_

He looked down and she was gone. Wufei was alone, once again. 

*_Then the mountain rose before me  
By the deep well of desire*_

The light was harsh, unforgiving. Wufei cracked open his eyes and groaned. He was still in his living room, he had fallen asleep in his armchair. 

"Oh Father, God," he moaned, rubbing his eyes. He was stumbling across the room when his foot hit something small. It skittered across the room, before coming to stop at one of the dining table's legs. He picked up the velvet box and everything came back with startling clarity. Him drinking, lavender perfume, Rei. His voice raising, her voice raising, the hurt and pain in the room. Then the love and comfort as they held each other and cried like a pair of children. Then her strange message. And it all became clear. Perfectly clear.

*_From the fountain of forgiveness  
Beyond the ice and the fire*_

He slipped on a shirt and some shoes before racing out of his apartment. He hadn't thought about it before but it made sense. The beach. Where they first met. As usual, it was Serena's doing. She decided that her friends and Heero's friends should meet. Everyone had hit it off—expect the two of them. They had left that evening with nothing but animosity toward each other. 

But the others had seen something they hadn't. For the next few weeks the other eight (Heero, Trowa, Quatre and Ami had barely tagged along) had tried every single hook-up trick in the book. Until one night, with no assistance from their friends, they had run into each other at La Mer, a restaurant by the same beach. That night had cinched it, and as they walked along the beach together that night, they had shared their first kiss. The others still took credit for it. Wufei was all for setting them straight, but Rei had insisted they let them remain blissfully ignorant. In the end, he agreed. 

Wufei also realized something as he walked along the boardwalk. He was no longer feeling cold or angry. He had forgiven Rei.

*_Cast your eyes on the ocean  
Cast your soul to the sea  
When the dark night seems endless  
Please remember me*_

He looked out onto the pure, calm sea. The waters were a beautiful, turquoise blue. Much like it had been that day. He still remembered how she looked when he first saw her that day. A red tankini and a wide-rimmed, red straw hat. Her hair was plait in two pigtails that fell past her shoulders to her waist. Laughing at a joke Mina had just told. He knew Cupid had just claimed a new victim at that time—him. But he wasn't ready. She reminded him of Merian, beautiful, strong, passionate Merian. He soon discovered that this Rei-person was just like that as well. And it had scared the hell out of him. So he had put up the protective barrier, aka, the asshole mood. 

                  That night at La Mer, he didn't know what had happened. She looked purely stunning in the white, linen wrap dress, almost angelic. There were no other tables available, so they had to share one. This was because neither of them were willing to give up a wonderful meal like this, knowing the other person would benefit. He found she wasn't as bad as he had made her out to be, and he could tell she was thinking the same about him. The rest is history, as they say.

                  Looking out onto the sea's beautiful surface, Wufei found himself totally at peace since Rei's death. He was wrapped up in memories of their times together. Only this time, they brought a smile to his face, instead of tears.  

Thank you, Rei. 

*_Please remember me  
Please remember me...*_

Yes, um, I enjoyed writing this very much. This has to be the most romantic thing I've ever written, well, without being overtly sappy, that is.  Thank you for all the kind reviews. I'll do a sequel with Serena, I'm working on it at this present moment. 

Oh, to Megami, of course I don't mind! You probably did a much better job than I did, anyway. Thank you, again. 


	4. Missing You

I Will Always Love You

By: Zarabeth McGregor

Chapter 4: Missing You

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon or Gundam Wing; they belong to their respective owners. The song 'Missing You' is copyrighted to Brandy, Tamia, Gladys Knight and Chaka Khan. It can be found on the 'Set It Off' movie soundtrack. 

I know I said this was going to be the sequel to the I Will Always Love You series, but I decided to just fit it in as a fourth chapter. Please read and review.

~*~

                  I picked up the CD from its case and ran my hand over the cool, circular surface. I walked over to the radio and put it in the CD deck. Picking up the remote, I put it to the appropriate track. 

*_Though I'm missing you  
(Although I'm missing you)  
I'll find a way to get through  
(I'll find a way to get through)*_

Quite absently, I fingered the white remote's rubber buttons. The movie 'Set It Off' came out ages ago, I know. Rei and I went to watch it. But when I saw the soundtrack in the mall those couple of weeks ago, knowing this song was on it, I had to buy it. I just had to. Biting my lip, I sat down slowly on the couch. My eyes started to burn and a knife lodged itself into my heart, now twisting, slowly. 

*_Living without you  
'Cause you were my sister, _

_My strength, and my pride  
Only God may know why, _

Still I will get by* 

_Rei…_the name drifted by fleetingly, but the emotions it brought with it stayed. Losing Rei was like losing a part of myself. Sure, we bantered and dissed each other more than anyone else, but when it came down to it, she was the best friend I ever had. Lord, God, how I missed her. I missed her so bad; I could feel it, taste it. It was like a wet blanket weighting itself on me. No matter how much I tried, how much I fought it, I couldn't get it off, couldn't shake it. 

But no matter what, I knew I had to keep living.

*I would've known, that you had to go  
But so suddenly, so bad*

My mind drifted back to childhood, you know, the stage when you were bursting with questions, and learning the seeming new, but quite basic, things about our world. Like death and dying. 

Mommy, or Daddy, or some other trusted adult would be standing around unsuspectingly, when you go and ask them: "Mommy/Daddy/Granny, why do people die?" You probably get an uncertain look before the smile and answer: 

"Because if people don't die, the world would get full, and soon, people will be falling off it." Of course, we giggled trying to imagine people literally falling of the face of the earth. Then, the solemn look. And the most shocking piece of news you thought you could get. 

"I will die one of these days. And so will you. Everyone will die. But it's not a bad thing," they say hastily, when they see your shocked expression.  "If you're a good person, you will go to a beautiful place in the clouds, where nothing bad will ever happen to you." You are confused, but as time goes by, you get it. Seeing it on the television everyday, having deaths in your family and your friends' families. You get used to it.

I got used to it, and like everyone else, I learnt about the different ways people could die; naturally and painlessly, inhumanely and painfully. Even taking their own lives. Then, when you keep on hearing, watching and reading about them, you get used to it again. 

I guess I knew we all had to go some day, it's just not something I would particularly think about everyday, like the way you'd think about the cute guy down the street, or the new pair of jeans you absolutely _must _have. 

I subconsciously knew Rei would die one of these days, along with everyone else. But as 'used to' her cause of death as I thought I was, it shattered my soul when she did die. In my arms, no less. I was the last person she saw, the last person she spoke to. Her face all stained and her eyes bloodshot and crossed, it will stay with me forever. A bad experience that you know will haunt you for the rest of your life. Her body going limp and cold in my hands. That is something I will live with until my own dying day. 

* _How could it be, _

_Not a straight memory _

Worthy of all that we had made* 

This is the time I guess I should be reminiscing. Going over the memories we had together. I wonder if she thought of us before she died. Hmm. So, I sit here, hugging my pillow to my chest, my vision blurry. They come instantly, all our times together. When we first met, our battles with the Negaverse, studying for our high school exams (I thought I was going to be a dismal failure), our arguments…no correction, Rei dissing me to high heaven and me blubbering over it. Rei consoling me in my break up with Darien, convincing me to resist temptation and forgive him (I'm sure I'd be in prison now if Rei didn't stop me. Seriously, you don't want to know what I had planned for the bastard.), me consoling her in her break up with Chad. She was the one who broke it, and while I'm sure they didn't have a really serious relationship, it did hurt her. Finding out about of her state of mind after the wars…and helping her to supposedly 'conquer' her depression. 

                  Yes, my favorite times with her. Harping on and on and on about Heero, until she knew everything about him. Convincing her to go to the beach with me and the others to meet Heero and his friends. Introducing her to Heero and his friends. Introducing her to Wufei…I laugh now, because I had never seen Rei as pissed as she had been that day. If it weren't for the fact that we agreed not to reveal our identities, I'm fairly sure poor Wufei would be in another plane of existence by now. Listening to her harp on about how annoying he is and how much she wanted to wring his neck. Getting together with the other people and trying to hook them up. The death threats and near misses that came with it. 

                  The shock, the pure, unmitigated shock of seeing the both of them get up and dance the tango with each other that night at the Latin bar we went to. That was definitely unexpected, no one knew they had hooked up. Yeah…we were good at hooking people up. 

                  Seeing her really and truly happy for the first time in her life. 

This is sad, really sad. Because even if all of these memories were put together, the emotion and moods they evoked within me combined, it would not come anywhere close to what we shared. 

_*Now that you're gone, every day I go on (I go on)  
But life's just not the same (life's just not the same)*_

I try, I really do try to move on with my life. Know that's what she would've wanted us to do. But I can't. I want to but I can't. Mina, Lita and Ami, they were affected by it as well, but they are moving on. They're even smiling and laughing now a days. And they don't even seem to be half as guilty as I am. They don't even seem guilty. 

                  Wufei…I don't know who was affected more, me or him. She was my very best friend from since…seems like forever. But to Wufei, she was his soul mate, the air he breathes, his life support. I could tell that the first couple of weeks after her death he was just putting on a show, that he was torn up inside but he didn't want to, or couldn't show it. But now, he honestly seems to have come to terms with it. He seems he is more placid now. I'm glad for him, really. He deserves it. 

But it's still not the same without her. 

* _I'm so empty inside, and my tears I can't hide  
But I'll try, I'll try to face the pain*_

I'm basically rejecting it now. I think I might still be in the denial stage. I read somewhere that there are four stages of grief: shock and denial, anger, bargaining or questioning the situation's reality, and acceptance. I think I'm still trying to figure this out, questioning the situation's reality. 

                  Though I'm feeling numb, I still cry like it happened just yesterday. And once I start, I can't stop until I've either cried myself to sleep, or cried myself hoarse. I want to get away from the pain, I want to forget about it. At least for a few hours. I hold my head.

"God, Serena, no," I mutter to myself. I hate these thoughts. This is exactly what got Rei where she is right now. If it's one thing I'll get from her death is a lesson; never try to block out the pain artificially. It always ends bad. 

                  My mind reflects to a conversation I had with Wufei recently. He was so together and with it, while I was struggling to get through the day. 

"How do you do it?" I asked, exasperated. That was when I knew he wasn't faking it this time, he didn't seem cold or angry beneath the surface. Anyway, he just shrugged and stared off into space. I thought I forgot my question when he turned to me, his eyes slightly damp.

"Just face the pain. Work it out. Resolve whatever issues you have concerning it. If you're angry over her death, figure out why and come to terms with it." he said quietly. He made it sound so simple, so easy. 

But I try, and I'll keep on trying.

*_Though I'm missing you  
(Although I'm missing you)  
I'll find a way to get through  
(I'll find a way to get through)  
Living without you_

'Cause you were my sister, 

My strength, and my pride  
Only God may know why, 

Still I will get by*

I will get by…

*Oh, there was so many things   
That we could have shared, uh-huh*

Oh, yes, so many things. Engagements parties, being Maid of Honor at each other's weddings. The joy of knowing we're carry our first child, the Baby Showers. First steps, first birthdays…the stress of the following years. Marriage joys and pains and complaining to each other about them, anniversary parties. Harping on about menopause…had to laugh at that one…growing old together and seeing our children taking their children our to each other's houses. I pressed a fist to my mouth to keep from sobbing out. My eyes were really tearing up now. I blinked back the tears. 

*And time was on our side (time was on our side)  
Ooh, yeah*

Yes, time did seem to be on our side. We were twenty-two, and we would have had so many years ahead of us. At least we did. 

*Now that you're gone, I can still feel you near  
So I'll smile, with every tear I cry*  

                  Wait…there is someone here.

"Heero?" I call out. It was dumb, because I knew Heero wouldn't be home for another few hours. I get up from the couch and walk around. "Who's there?" I could hear nor see anyone. Great, I'm going crazy. But I could feel someone. Someone is here. Some one like…

"Rei…?" I call out timidly. I'm not good at the psychic thing like she was, but being a Sailor Scout did have its advantages, like us being able to sense each other. "Rei…?" I call out again. I could feel her. "Please, if it's you, tell me, please!" I shout. I suddenly feel a wave of peace washing over me. I felt so at relaxed and calm. My cheek was feeling damp and a smile crossed my face. I know now I'm gonna be alright. 

*Though I'm missing you  
(Although I'm missing you)  
I'll find a way to get through  
(I'll find a way to get through)  
Living without you  
'Cause you were my sister, 

My strength, and my pride  
Only God may know why,

Still I will get by*

"I'm going to get by…" I whisper softly. "Thanks, Rei."

* How sweet, were the losses to spare?  
But I'll wait for the day  
When I'll see you again, see you again, yeah* 

I walk to the window and let the sunlight stream in on my face. I am totally at peace now. I'm ready to heal. I'm ready to face the pain and come to terms with it. I'm ready. 

*Though I'm missing you  
(Although I'm missing you)  
I'll find a way to get through  
(I'll find a way to get through)  
Living without you  
'Cause you were my sister,

 My strength, and my pride  
Only God may know why, 

Still I will get by*

I'm missing you. 

Yeah…I'm done! Thank you for being patient. Please review. I once again thank you for your kind reviews. 


End file.
